Empty

A few days ago I realized that I'm becoming hollow.

I'm not voraciously reading. I'm not making the new, good friends I hoped I would have by now. I'm not learning.

All I have is my wonderful husband and the piddly, useless job that takes 40 hours of my week. I'm disgruntled and dissatisfied.

The hope I have is that someday I will have job that keeps me busy and paid. That I will get to meet people my age and form deep connections.

I can't write anymore. This job has actually caused me to lose brain power and intelligence. I know it because I can't grasp ideas and form concepts as well as I could when I was still in school. I'm sad that I'm becoming dumber by the day. I want my skills and talents to be respected and, Goddammit, USED for once. College expanded my brain only for it to atrophy only one year later.

I applied for a job at Corporate. It's really my only shot at getting out of this hole. I want to work with genuinely intelligent people again.

I'm selfish when I think of all that I have compared to others, but everyone has their own struggles.